He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
