C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
