U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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