But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
