If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just pee around me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
