if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
