This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Randomize
