apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
