I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
