How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
