She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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