I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
