I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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