what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
