she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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