Someone shit on the floor
I accidentally burped into my bong.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
