Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
