oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
