you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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