i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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