dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
