is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
