Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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