my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
