There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
