new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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