so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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