Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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