Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
