I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize