I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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