Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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