from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
