hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
