i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
