I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
