he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
