I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
