Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
