eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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