You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
