Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
