you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
