Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
