Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
