I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
