lets start a swedish sibling band together
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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