We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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