you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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