is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
