After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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