Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
