It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
