We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
