is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
