btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
