I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
